Adopting without an agency

Agencies
Adopting without an agency
Why or why not

Although ‘do it yourself’ may be a recipe for disaster in plumbing jobs or haircuts, independent adoptions may not always be the worst idea ever.

In the opinion of many, the advent of independent adoption, also referred to as private adoption, has been a very positive step.

In an article on the topic, adoption attorney Douglas R. Donnelly says, “… it can be seen that independent adoptions represent the most important development in the field of adoptions in the last 50 years. Most people who experience an independent adoption find it to be a loving and warm experience. Adoption is always a painful experience for a relinquishing mother, but an independent adoption allows her to structure the adoption in such a way that her needs are met.”

According to Mr. Donnelly, some women indicate that the circumstances that allowed them to evaluate and choose an adoptive family, to tailor the process to fit them and their situations, and to set the pace, tone and mood, had a great deal to do with the fact that that ended up placing rather than reluctantly parenting. The perception of lack of control that an agency adoption can create has some moms deciding to parent rather than relinquish more than they feel is right for them.

Perhaps because of this, it has been reported that the states that do not allow independent adoptions have the lowest adoption rates in the US. (Although this could also reflect a tendency to go out of state rather than comply, or other issues.)

Although allowed in some states, it is not legal in all … Massachusetts and Connecticut, for example, require all adoptions to go through agencies … and there are wide variations in the process from state-to-state.

Take, for example, Colorado, where independent adoptions are not allowed within the state, but approval for a placement that happens in another state is normally no problem. Or California that sees more than 80% of all newborn adoptions conducted independently, while in Michigan a mother can only place a child with a family member without agency involvement.

The laws covering private adoptions are in a constant state of flux, so anyone interested in this option will need an experienced adoption attorney to explain the current laws of your state. It would also be wise to become familiar with the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children, in the event that two states are eventually involved.

See the chapter: “Adoption is a State Concern”.

! Keep in mind the importance of adoption experience when choosing an attorney. Many adoptive parents realize that an attorney not completely familiar with adoption laws can cause unnecessary delays in the process, and force already stress-out parents to spend a lot of time and effort in research needed to educate the hired professional.

Credits: Sandra Hanks Benoiton