Babies don't come with guarantees

Whether you’re making a baby from scratch the old fashioned way or adopting, there are no guarantees that perfection will reign in every cell in the tiny body you end up with.

New little humans are miracles, and when you think about how they are made … one microscopic sperms finds a miniscule egg that splits and makes a zygote which divides and divides until it’s an embryo that keeps manufacturing new bits that add up to a fetus that eventually decides to be a baby … the miracle seems all the more miraculous. It is no surprise that the system breaks down from time to time. In fact, it a wonder of wonderful wonders that it works out so well so much of the time.

Since adopting is by definition having a baby that’s grown in someone else’s body, you will neither have control over the body doing the baby growing, nor will you have access to all the information about it.

Gene blues

Your baby will be the end result of a whole bunch of genes you’re not related to at all, and some of those, just like some of yours, could cause problems.

A list of potential genetic diseases is enough to scare anyone away from the idea of ever reproducing another human being, and if you really want to frighten the eggs out of ovaries, and get every sperm in the world to shoot itself in its itty-bitty head, just check out this Encyclopedia of Genetic Disorders. You’ll note that there are forty of them listed under ‘A’ alone.

Genetic diseases, ailments, conditions and such are out there, no doubt about it. From Aarskog syndrome to Zellwegers, they cover the gamut, the body and the alphabet. Some are life-shortening, others inconvenient … and some simply not pretty … but whatever, they exist.

A full medical history of both expecting parents will help to establish likelihood in the case of some hereditary illnesses, but not all, and there is always the chance that something might wend its way through the DNA and manifest in your child.

Such is life.
Some problems may be obvious at birth. Others may not be noticeable until toddler years, or even well beyond.
Having kids is always a crap-shoot. You rolls the dice, you takes your chances, and the great majority of the time, you come up a winner.

Substances

If you’re matched with a pregnant woman, most likely the matching will come late, rather than early, in the pregnancy, so you’ll be going on her word as to what if any substances she may have taken into her body during the first trimester of the baby’s development. Just about any illegal drug, and many that are legal but not recommended in pregnancy, can cause issues in a little body that’s still a fetus or embryo at time of exposure.

The timing, frequency, amount and type of drugs will dictate the sort and degree of problems for the baby, and if poor nutrition and very little prenatal care go along with drug use, the little tyke may have a variety of challenges to face before he’s even born.

From cigarettes to marijuana to cocaine, heroine and alcohol, babies are negatively impacted from mom’s use, sometimes severely and often for their entire lives.

Cigarette smoking has been proven to cause lower birth weight and an increase in negative behavior in toddlers. Fetal alcohol exposure can cause such serious damage that even the outward appearance of the child is changed. Recreational drugs, addiction and so forth all result in serious implications for an unborn child. ADD/AHD, learning weaknesses, sensory integration issues, all may have roots in parental drug use.

According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, the drug arm of the National Institutes of Health, more than 5% of pregnant women use an illicit drug during pregnancy. That’s quite a number, but it does mean that 95% don’t, so making assumptions is not a good idea.

For an in-depth look at prenatal exposure to drugs and how abuse may affect behavior and learning later on, check out the NIDA website.