How to adopt independently, Page 2

Adoption Attorneys

If you choose to adopt without an agency, you will need an adoption attorney to handle the legal ins and outs, cross every ‘T’, dot every ‘I’ and make sure everyone involved is protected fully under the laws of the states that apply.

Independent adoptions conducted by attorneys offer a degree of safety in that the standards of the Bar Associating must be followed. Many also belong to the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys, thereby agreeing to adhere to that organization’s
Ethics Code.

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Adopting independently by definition means that there will be no professional buffer between you and the parents making their adoption plan and their attorney. Aside from your attorney whose function will not be anywhere near as comprehensive as an agency, you will be in charge of much of the communication that needs to take place.

In some states, attorneys may act as facilitators (see below). In such cases, their fee will reflect the fact that they have provided that service as well. Other states forbid such involvement and limit their role to the legal finalization that happens at the end of the process.

Facilitators

! Not all states allow facilitators to be financially compensated in adoptions. See the State-by-State chapter, and consult an adoption professional in your state before starting your process.

Adoption facilitators are unlicensed individuals who act as a vehicle of introduction between expectant parents considering placement and hopeful adoptive families. Doctors, ministers, nurses, as well as friends and family may become involved in matching up those in crisis pregnancies with people hoping to build their family through adoption.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your rabbi, dentist, neighbor or hotdog vendor putting you in contact with a pregnant woman considering adoption for her child. In fact, many independent adoptions are started in just this way. Facilitators like this obviously do not take the place of an adoption attorney, Homestudy provider or an agency that also provides counseling and other services. They are simply the adoption version of a matchmaker.

Where things may get sticky, however, is when the person making the introduction wants to be paid for their part. Most states do now allow fee-charging facilitators.

During the course of writing this book, California passed into law (SB1758) that stiffens regulations on adoption facilitators. There will soon be a statewide registry and the Department of Social Services will be required to post information about individual facilitator compliance on their website. Photo listings and advertising of specific children is now prohibited, as well.
Read the law.

If your state does allow paid facilitators, it is up to you to make certain that they are on the up and up. Exorbitant fees, billing for services either unexplained or not provided, or any reticence when giving information about the expectant parents or condition of the child should raise red flags immediately. Even the slightest hint of money going to expectant parents for anything other than approved payments and you must run, don’t walk, to the appropriate body overseeing such businesses.

The Better Business Bureau and your state’s adoption information specialist are good places to look for recommendations or warnings about individual facilitators.

For more details on adoption facilitators, see Adoption.com.

Covering the bases

If you decide to go with an agency, that choice does not mean you have to sit back and wait for them to get things going. Putting the word out on your own … networking, making contacts, putting together photo albums or scrapbooks of your family, even distributing “hoping to adopt” cards and emails … are activities you can pursue if you so choose. The more people actively working on your adoption, the more likely things will happen sooner rather than later, so there’s no reason you should sit on the bench and wait to be called into the game.

See the section, “Now you’re ready” for networking leads, tips, suggestions and ideas.

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Credits: Sandra Hanks Benoiton