Mixing it up…, Page 2
A Birth Mom’s Take …
It is often the case that expectant parents will actively seek a family with children when looking to place. Sometimes, watching the interaction between potential adoptive parents and the kids they have is read as the clue to the future happiness of their child.
Crisis Pregnancy Adoption Blogger, Coley S, had this to say about her decision to place her son in a family with a child:
“We’ve talked about the options in choosing an adoptive family for your child when making an adoption plan. One of the big choices you can make is to choose a family that has children or to choose a family that has no children.
It may be your desire to choose a family where your child would be the only or the first. Or it may be your desire that your child have a sibling, so you may look at families that already have a child.
For me personally, I wanted an adoptive family that already had children. It was important to me that they already have a child. Why you ask? Because I wanted my baby to have a sibling. I had a sibling myself; a little brother who is about three years younger than me. I enjoyed having a sibling; I enjoyed the camaraderie, always having someone close to my age around, and of course, the brother/sister fights. Ok, maybe I didn’t enjoy the fights, but they are a part of life with a sibling and as we grew up we fought less. He was handy to have around in high school because he knew more French than me and could help me with my homework! And even if he was a pain when we were younger, I can’t imagine my life without him!
So, it was my desire that Charlie have a sibling. Of course, he has Noah, but I’m meaning someone to share a bathroom with and fight over the front seat with. Charlie’s sister is a great big sister. She was so excited when he was born and is very proud with him and usually pretty patient with him, teaching him new things, helping him when he needs help, etc.
But of course, it’s important to remember that if you choose a family without a child thinking your child will be the only, that could change. The adoptive couple could surprisingly get pregnant later on down the road or change their mind about not having anymore children.
Keep in mind: The characteristics on which you choose a family can possibly change in the future.”
“We’ve talked about the options in choosing an adoptive family for your child when making an adoption plan. One of the big choices you can make is to choose a family that has children or to choose a family that has no children.
It may be your desire to choose a family where your child would be the only or the first. Or it may be your desire that your child have a sibling, so you may look at families that already have a child.
For me personally, I wanted an adoptive family that already had children. It was important to me that they already have a child. Why you ask? Because I wanted my baby to have a sibling. I had a sibling myself; a little brother who is about three years younger than me. I enjoyed having a sibling; I enjoyed the camaraderie, always having someone close to my age around, and of course, the brother/sister fights. Ok, maybe I didn’t enjoy the fights, but they are a part of life with a sibling and as we grew up we fought less. He was handy to have around in high school because he knew more French than me and could help me with my homework! And even if he was a pain when we were younger, I can’t imagine my life without him!
So, it was my desire that Charlie have a sibling. Of course, he has Noah, but I’m meaning someone to share a bathroom with and fight over the front seat with. Charlie’s sister is a great big sister. She was so excited when he was born and is very proud with him and usually pretty patient with him, teaching him new things, helping him when he needs help, etc.
But of course, it’s important to remember that if you choose a family without a child thinking your child will be the only, that could change. The adoptive couple could surprisingly get pregnant later on down the road or change their mind about not having anymore children.
Keep in mind: The characteristics on which you choose a family can possibly change in the future.”
© Adoption.com Guide to US Infant Adoption, published by Adoption Media, LLC
Credits: Sandra Hanks Benoiton
Helping birth mothers find the right adoptive family.
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