Now, you’re ready

You’ve educated yourselves, understand the system in your state, and now speak fluent adopt-talk. You’ve successfully scaled the Kilimanjaro of paperwork required, negotiated Homestudy get-togethers, passed with flying colors (whatever those are) and sport the seal of approval. You have established where your limits are, decided for or against breastfeeding … maybe even invested in a pump just to see how the things work. You’ve built a supportive team for the rah-rah you’ll need to see you through the wait. All members of the immediate family are on board and ready for this ship to add a little passenger.

So, let’s go.

The path

At the moment, you are HERE … X

… here being ready, willing and able.

But since no baby is anywhere in sight at the moment, you’ll need to somehow get to THERE … Y

… there being the place that smells of talcum and sweetness, where things are soft and cuddly, drool is adorable and nothing makes you happier than the sight of a good, healthy poop.

X ………………………………… to ……………………………………. Y

How to do that?

If you’re using an agency or facilitator, their systems for building the bridge between X and Y may be well established. They may have suggestions or materials for resumes and networking tools for your use and experience in how to put these together.

If you’re going independent, it’s up to you to lay the path that leads to you. Like breadcrumbs carefully placed on a forest floor, the pieces of yourself you disperse may eventually guide a child to your home.

Even if an agency is part of the plan, there’s nothing to stop you from pulling out the stops and putting your message out and about in hopes of expediting the process and exerting some of your own control.

Since you’ll be going pretty well crazy during the wait, you might as well get busy being as fully involved in your adoption as you can.

Getting the word out

There’s a commonly reported phenomena that pops up anywhere in the world babies become a focus: all of a sudden, pregnant women are everywhere.

As a hopeful adoptive parent you may be sorely tempted to approach each and every one of them with the query, “Planning on keeping that?” … but you really MUST restrain yourself. There are other ways to connect. Better ways. Ways that won’t get you locked up.

In adoption, just like when people are making a baby from scratch, the world becomes aware very slowly that there’s a little person in the family’s future. More of a bun-in-the-oven thing than a Pop Tart, the process is a gradual growth, not than an instant immediate, and it all has to start somewhere.

Sitting around the house, doing nothing, and hoping someone else will take on the job and do the business doesn’t make a baby happen … through reproduction or adoption … so like in procreation, action is called for.

Credits: Sandra Hanks Benoiton