Risk in Domestic Infant Adoption

Defining Risk

Legal-risk placement is defined as placement of a child in a prospective adoptive home before relinquishment papers have been signed. However, in today's world of pre-adoption matching and/or contact between expectant / biological parents and those adopting, risk often becomes a factor long before the actual placement in the home.

What is the risk?

What we call risk is the chance that the adoption will not move forward through to finalization. Reasons for this may include:

1. having made an initial decision to relinquish, expectant/biological parents subsequently choose to parent their child;
2. legal consents required cannot be obtained;
3. after an initial choice of adopting parents, others are ultimately chosen;
4. the baby does not survive.

However, the first of these is generally the one most commonly referenced, and the first expressed among prospective adoptive parents.

While we may know logically that making the choice to parent is the ideal outcome for families and wish them well, the abrupt end to our own hopes for this particular adoption, can be emotionally devastating. This can manifest itself as depression, grief, and even anger.

"...then a week before the baby was to arrive, she decided to parent the child. What a heartache. We have never felt so much pain and anger. We are not angry at her by any means, just at the situation."

How do you know?

With very few exceptions, there is no way to know for sure that an adoption will finalize, even though most do. However, before extending yourself to the limits of your emotional (and perhaps financial) involvement and commitment to an expectant / biological family and a particular child, taking a look at what many researchers and professionals consider "risk factors" can be an important step.

If you decide to go ahead with a particular adoption opportunity that falls through, there may be no way to avoid feelings of loss and grief. But, if you understand the risks involved, you may gain a greater insight into motivations and family situations that can help you better support the decision of expectant / biological parents, and to recover your emotional strength.

How great is the risk?

Risk in adoption - legal, emotional, and financial - can often appear confusing to those approaching adoption for the first time. Comments from adopting parents indicate that many have not been given explanations of general risk factors and/or a clear understanding of risks involved in their individual situations.

Ask Questions

It's imperative that prospective adoptive parents ask questions when information seems hazy or incomplete. Often, adoption professionals will take an absence of questions to mean that their clients already understand, when this may not be the case. However, it isn't always easy for first-time adopters to know what questions to ask, and where the risks might lie.

© Nancy S. Ashe