Who can adopt?, Page 2

Gay

Gay, lesbian, and transgendered individuals and families need to consult locally to learn if there are restrictions on adoption that would apply. Although it’s federal and state laws that rule, in practice the adoption climate can vary from county to county and town to town. The Human Rights Campaign says that twenty-one states are open to gay adoption at the moment.

Age

Normally, you must be 18 years old to become an adoptive parent by law, although many agencies may require a 25th birthday to have come and gone. If you’re over 40, you may find some resistance, but this has been easing in recent years. (Rule of thumb: no more than 40 years between the age of the adoptive parents and the child … just thumb, though, not thumb in concrete.)

Health

You need to be healthy and have all best chances for a normal life span. You’ll have to provide a complete medical history for your homestudy, and in some cases a psychological assessment may also be required. If you are disabled, you must be able to meet the needs of a child.

Vices

Alcohol, drugs, and cigarette use can put you out of the game … not just the adoption game, either, but that’s not the topic here. Many agencies will not place in a home where there are smokers due to issues of second-hand smoke. Some organizations frown on any use of alcohol. Drug abusers need not even apply.

Fertility or ‘In’

Infertile couples may get top priority, both from agencies and from mothers considering placement of their child. If you can reproduce, but choose rather to adopt, you may need to explain your motivations.

Faith

Religion-based agencies and parents contemplating placement who have strong religious affiliations may choose to give preference to fellow believers.

Other children in the home

If you have kids in the home, it may impact on your adoption; one way or another. Some parents are happier placing their child in a home that has a sibling waiting. Others prefer childless couples.

From Adoption.Com: The tide seems to have shifted to give some consideration to the advantages of placing a child with "experienced" parents who already have one or more children who will be siblings, role models, and protectors for the new child. How this plays out in each situation will depend a lot on the preferences of the birthparents. Placements with families who already have children in the home seem to be significantly more common in independent adoptions, where placing parents seem to have more input into who adopts their children. If adopters already have two children in their family, they may still be able to adopt through a private adoption, where they may receive a child from a birthmother who already has several children in her own family, and wants this same kind of an environment for the child she is placing. There are no laws that limit the size of a family in a private adoption setting.

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Credits: Sandra Hanks Benoiton